Two for the Naughty List

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Two for the Naughty List

Christmas comes but once a year, and so apparently does my urge to write fembot-smut. Please enjoy this slightly-tardy holiday trifle; a tale of gynoid rivalry, sex, and foul play.

Two For the Naughty List

Kelsie took her fingertip away from the wall of the gingerbread house and watched expectantly. It stuck for just a few seconds before flopping back onto the tray, the heavily built-up bead of white icing around the edge testifying to her prior attempts at reinforcement.

“Grrr,” Kelsie gritted her teeth and rolled her eyes. “I can’t get this stupid thing to stay!”

She swatted the table with one hand, causing a roof panel to slide down into the coconut-shaving snow next to the wall. She lifted her foot to stomp in frustration but caught herself—keeping a suspicious eye on the semi-collapsed edible edifice, she gently returned her stiletto to the floor.

“Gingerbread houses are dumb.”

Across the kitchen, Nicole froze with the tip of her pastry bag partway through its rapid trajectory from cookie to cookie. She looked over her shoulder, one glacier blue eye framed between her ruler-straight nose and lank hair almost as pale as the frost around the window-panes.

In a voice as soft—and cold—as new-fallen powder, she said, “I’ve never had any difficulty with them. Perhaps it is not gingerbread houses that are deficient.”

Kelsie stared back blankly. Her lips parted, shiny and red as holly berries, and the computer hardware in her chest hummed a little louder.

She frowned. “Hey, you’re saying I’m deficient!”

Nicole had already returned to icing the cookies.The Christmas lights above the windows made glinting, gaily colored reflections in the backless silver dress that clung to her torso like wrapping paper around a present, an impression heightened by the wide ribbon tied around her waist so that a bow sprang from the small of her back.

“I never have been able to understand why, despite so many upgrades and updates, Alton still hasn’t brought you up to standard.”

Kelsie put her hands on her hips. “Your standard, you mean?”

“So, you’re not completely hopeless.”

Kelsie could hear the smile even if she couldn’t see it.

She twirled her hair, a programmed gesture indicating memory access. After a short pause she said, “Probably ‘cause he’s still trying to figure out how to program a personality into you. Now there’s an impossible problem.”

Nicole’s hands stopped in their course again. She half-turned towards Kelsie.

“That was quick.” Her gaze snapped to where Kelsie’s finger was still toying with one messy strawberry lock.

Kelsie dropped the hand to her side. “What?”

“Kelsie, darling… have you really pre-processed a bank of insults to use on me?”

Rather than answer, Kelsie sidled up next to Nicole and crossed her arms. The gesture gave her breasts the look of fully-inflated balloons straining upwards against her red-and-green crop top.

“I suppose you’ve got me beat when it comes to processing power, and memory and other stuff like that. That’s why you’re so good at doing all the cooking and cleaning and preparing Alton’s taxes. You’re really useful for that kind of thing.”

Nicole’s eyes narrowed as Kelsie nattered on. “It must make you feel better to know you’re such a good appliance while he’s enjoying himself with me. You know, since I have some actual soul.” She looked Nicole up and down and snorted derisively. “No wonder I’m his favorite.”

Nicole’s lips barely moved when she spoke. “His… favorite?”

Kelsie nodded. “Uh huh.”

Nicole stared, then threw her head back and burst into a long cackle. She picked up another pastry bag and began icing ornaments onto a set of christmas-tree cookies.

Kelsie’s triumphant smile drooped. She goggled. Her processors went into overdrive trying to make sense of the contradictory reaction.

“Oh, Kelsie, Kelsie, you sweet, simple airhead. I’m his favorite. Fifty-point-zero-two percent of all climaxes Alton has experienced with us have been thanks to me. I have an almost identical lead in overall sexual encounters even despite your head start.” She looked at Kelsie and shook her head pityingly. “You simply cannot argue with numbers. My logic is irrefutable.”

“I-I-I-I-I-I-I—” Kelsie stuttered as all available computing power was drawn into the attempt to calculate a response.

Eventually the main process timed out and terminated, no closer to success despite spiking her system temperature. But Nicole’s numbers were only accurate up to the present moment, she realized once she spread the net a bit wider at the direction of her general problem-solving algorithms.

She came back to herself only to see Nicole staring at her with a superior-looking smile.

“Still functioning? I thought you might need to be rebooted, the way you were twitching.”

Rather than spend another word on the stuck-up sex-bot, Kelsie put her plan into action. She poured a glass of eggnog from the pitcher in the refrigerator and left to find Alton.

Spaz (talk)

Alton was, as he had been for much of the evening, in the living room, seated on the couch with a book in his hands. “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” was playing over the sound system, and a slowly diminishing fire was crackling in the fireplace. An artificial tree was set up in one corner; the precise arrangement of the lights and ornaments bespoke Nicole’s hand.

He took the eggnog from Kelsie graciously, if a little bemusedly.

“How’s the gingerbread house coming along?” He asked when she continued to loom over him.

Kelsie rolled her eyes. “Please don’t ask about the dumb gingerbread house.” Alton looked confused as she plucked the glass out of his hands and set it on the end table, then straddled his lap. “I was hoping maybe you’d like to stuff my stocking.”

He chuckled and gestured with his chin at the book pinned between their bodies. “Maybe later, I was just getting to a good part.”

She took one of his hands and slid it up underneath her top. Her systems were hardly ticking over—this was what she was made for, not pastry construction work or playing mind games with Nicole.

The delicate sensors threaded into her polymer skin registered his hot palm cupping her breast, the growing pressure as he squeezed it. She felt him roll her nipple between his fingers and, when the pressure crossed a critical threshold, she let out a little gasp.

“Wouldn’t you rather get to my good parts?” She batted her eyelashes. “Just think of it as my Christmas present.”

Alton hooked his thumb under her top and pulled it up, letting her breasts bounce free. Her erect pink nipples stood proud from large, perfectly circular aureoles.

“I usually wait until morning to open my presents, but I guess I can make an excemhhr—” his voice was smothered by Kelsie’s cleavage as she leaned forwards to envelop his head between similarly-sized mammaries.

She pumped her petite fists in the air. “Hooray!” Nicole was totally doomed to second-tier status now that Alton had given in to her.

Alton pushed her back far enough to save himself from cleavage-induced asphyxia and took one of her nipples into his mouth. Kelsie sighed as he swept his tongue up and down over it. She pinched the other one and pulled it up, stretching the delicate sensory fibers inside, and ground her crotch into Alton’s lap.

A symphony of tactile data swelled in her pre-processing arrays. Software hand-written by her lover analyzed it into its myriad themes, picking out the warmth and gentle pressure as he drew her deeper into his mouth, the thrill as his teeth softly grazed her aureole, the heat of his hands on her flanks, the sharpness of her own nail as it dug into the other nipple. Every time he used her for his pleasure he played a different piece upon the instruments of her body.

Alton drew back and tossed the book onto the coffee table. He was breathing hard and Kelsie’s partner-sentiment tracking code indicated that he had given into her completely. His arms tightened around her. With one motion he rose and flipped her to lie back on the couch—she could already feel him growing hard against her. Her miniskirt had ridden up into a festive-colored wreath around her waist; beneath it lay bare, sun-kissed flesh.

Kelsie spread her legs wide. “Merry Christmas,” she said as Alton’s pants dropped to his ankles.

She reached out and guided his shaft between her folds, then let her palm ride up onto his firm stomach as he drove into her. Her sensory processors maxed out as the elastic material of her vaginal sleeve stretched. Sensory resolution for the rest of her body dropped to let her prioritize properly servicing his cock—the minute variations in pressure and tension absorbed her completely. She shifted her hips a few degrees, emitted a precise quantity of additional lubricant, and was rewarded when his second thrust rammed home to the root.

“Yes!” she cried.

The firelight glinted in his eyes. He grabbed hold of her breasts for handles and began thrusting at a steady pace. His lips drew back from clenched teeth.

“Ah! Ah! Ah!” Kelsie made a gasping little yelp at the end of each stroke, a vocalization she’d honed through many iterations until she knew, deployed at the right moment, it would drive him wild.

He made a deep, animal sound, somewhere between a growl and grunt, and clamped his hands onto Kelsie’s shoulders like hot iron bands. Sweat beaded on his broad chest and began to run down it in glittering runnels as he changed his rhythm, bringing himself almost wholly clear of her before each thrust, then hammering home with a fleshy clap. An accelerometer mounted inside Kelsie’s torso recorded shock levels that threatened to dislodge her components.

She grinned. “I love it when you fuck me hard!”

“Almost time,” he said between breaths, “for you to receive my gift.”

Kelsie shifted the angle of her body again, fighting the soft resistance of the cushions. Rings of rollers tightened around her synthetic sheathe and began riding up and down it, milking Alton’s cock in time with his thrusts.

He pulled her around so that her head lay on the armrest and let his body down atop hers. Kelsie opened her mouth, welcoming a deep kiss. She stroked his sides as his body trembled and spurt after spurt of hot seed burst inside her, to be drawn away by gentle suction and stored in a canister in her abdomen.

He lay on her, kissing her as the fire sputtered, and then gingerly withdrew.

Sitting up, he said, “can’t say I’ve ever gotten a better present.”

“Hmm,” Kelsie said, staring straight ahead with an empty look. One user session, one orgasm, was only enough to bring her even with Nicole. It wasn’t enough!

She couldn’t simply force herself on him again, not so soon. But she needed to get ahead to claim back her favorite status from the upstart ice-queen. Visions like pages out of a digital Kama-sutra danced in her mind, sequences of acts and positions in a dizzying blur, each evaluated against Alton’s estimated arousal and emotional states.

“Hmm,” she said again. Her cooling system struggled with the load on her buzzing processor arrays. “...Hmm.”


“Ah ha!” she said, thrusting up her index finger, “I’ve got it.” She turned to Alton, beaming pridefully. “The second part of your present.”

Oh, not yet, I’m still really sensitahhhh—” Alton gasped and rose partway from the couch as she cradled his sack in her hand.

Tittering, she dropped off the cushion into a crouch that placed her squarely between his knees.

“Sit down, silly.”

He raised a concerned eyebrow, but did as the strawberry-blonde sex-bot told him.

“Aww, poor little guy,” she said as his drooping erection bobbed lower and lower before her face. “We don’t want to leave him out in the cold on Christmas Eve!”

Alton leaned back with a groan as Kelsie bobbed forward and swallowed it whole. She gazed lovingly up into his eyes, ensconcing him in her soft, electrically-heated mouth, stimulating him with gentle waves that moved down her tongue and at the same time served to measure his firmness.

He patted her on the head. “If you keep being this Naughty you’re going to end up on the Nice list for sure.”

Her eyes flicked to the left, gesturing at something. Alton’s gaze followed them. “What?” he asked.

She nudged her head a little to that side. “Hrrbmm,” she murmured around his shaft.



He looked again, then laughed. “My book?”

“Mmhmm.” She nodded slightly.

“I…” He shrugged, laughed again, and leaned forwards over her to retrieve it off the table.

She made a happy noise and the vibration of her vocal speaker caused him to jump—he’d regained enough firmness to push deeper into her mouth.

Kelsie waited patiently as he read, wholly consumed by the feed of pressure, temperature, moisture, tension data from her oral assembly, applying all her system resources to coaxing the still-tender cock in her mouth back to an erection. If her artificial mind were capable of something like human happiness, it was in moments like this when her every circuit and servo were bent to the end of her creator’s pleasure.

It wasn’t long before he was unthinkingly moving his hips, trying to drive himself even deeper. His head already reached past the back of her tongue. She slid her lips up the length of his shaft and flicked the tip of her tongue against the bottom of his glans then dove back down, socketing him in her throat before repeating the motion again and again.

Alton closed the book and put it to one side. His feet lifted up onto their toes as Kelsie returned to give his head more persistent attention, and a long, low groan escaped his lips.

She took hold of the base of his shaft with one hand and began aggressively sucking and stimulating him, using her tongue to the limits of its articulation. Her efforts were rewarded as Alton’s orgasm gushed into her mouth. He worked his fingers into her hair, drew her over him, dripping the last of his load into her throat before letting go.

Kelsie stood up, licking her lips, and made a little bow to Alton. He smiled, watching through half-lidded eyes as she straightened her outfit.

“Thanks!” she said, and turned back towards the kitchen.

Alton reached out after her, but she’d already started marching away, the steady stride and whirr-rizz-whirr-rizz of the motors in her legs giving her the aspect of an overgrown toy soldier.

Spaz (talk)

“I fixed your unfortunate mess of a house,” Nicole said, turning from the table as Kelsie entered.

Kelsie saw that the structure now stood complete and perfect. Nicole had straightened its leaning walls, scraped the joints and re-filled them with just the right amount of icing, and neatly decorated it with gumdrops, m&ms, and a light dusting of powdered-sugar snow.

Kelsie beamed smugly. “Thanks a million, babe. It looks awesome.”

“Naturally,” Nicole said. She stared at Kelsie for a moment before crossing the kitchen to remove the last batch of cookies from the oven.

Kelsie went to the window and looked out at the snow that blanketed the backyard. “It’s just so pretty outside.” She began quietly singing “The Twelve Days of Christmas” to herself.

Nicole set the tray of cookies on the stovetop and closed the oven door. Returning the oven mitts to the counter she turned and regarded Kelsie quizzically. “Your mood is suspiciously improved.”

“I feel great. After all, I know I’m Alton’s favorite.”

“Are your drives defective? We already settled this.”

“Nope… I settled it.” She put a hand on her stomach, over her internal fluid reservoir and extended two fingers. “Twice, in fact. How does that change your little calculation?”

Nicole’s eyes glazed over for a fraction of a second. Her face twisted with rage.

“Ha! You simply cannot argue with numbers. My logic is irrefutable,” Kelsie mocked. “Fav-o-rite, fav-o-rite, I am Alton’s fav-o-rite,” she sang, swaying her hips and shaking her fists over her head.

“At least for another, hmm” Nicole put a finger to her chin, her own memory-access gesture, “13 minutes, plus or minus 30 seconds or so.”

Kelsie frowned. “Huh?”

Nicole clicked across the kitchen atop her heels, coming face to face with her rival. “Two can play at this little game, after all. You did… realize that, yes?”

“Hmm…” Kelsie’s CPU raced. Why hadn’t she thought ahead to Nicole’s obvious counter? It was almost impossible that Alton would have the energy for a third round before morning, and even then there was no guarantee she’d get to him first, before Nicole had the chance to extend her lead.

Nicole laughed, the sound as cutting as a freezing gust. “I’m gratified that Alton constructed you. Really. He learned so many important lessons. He corrected so many limitations, so many defects when it came time to build me.”


Kelsie remained frozen, locked into the hopeless attempt to produce a general solution to the problem until her analysis program timed out again. Not even varying the problem bounds could produce a viable sequence of tasks that would get her to her goal. She returned to outward awareness to see Nicole’s pale back receding across the kitchen, returning to decorate the cookies she’d taken out earlier.

Kelsie turned and stared disgustedly at the stupid, perfect gingerbread house that had been built by the stupid, perfect android woman who, it seemed, was destined to be Alton’s stupid, perfect favorite. At best, Kelsie could barely keep up. She’d been built years before Nicole and was starting to require more, and longer, maintenance sessions.

She pushed on one gingerbread wall until it split and fell inwards. If only Nicole would break down and need a nice, long rebuild—that would take her out of the running for a while. But Nicole almost never malfunctioned… unless.

“Dang it!” Kelsie said. “Nicole, I messed up the gingerbread house again.”

Nicole’s hair spun into a halo around her head as she rounded on Kelsie. She stormed back to the table. “Why would you even touch it? It was done!”

“I just wanted to even out some of the decorations, they weren’t quite right.”

Nicole narrowed her eyes. “More likely your vision system is glitching, again. They were placed perfectly.”

Kelsie held up her hands, “all right, it’s all yours. I admit you’re so much better at this than me. Just like you’re so much better at everything.”

“Correct,” Nicole said in an icy tone as she set to work. “Ugh, you’ve practically ruined this wall. I’ll have to change the decoration scheme to conceal it.”

So focused was she that she didn’t notice Kelsie moving around behind her.

“Alton made you so well, Nicole. I may be smoking hot, but you’re beautiful.”

Nicole considered the point and nodded curtly before returning to the repairs. “That’s perhaps the most rational statement you’ve made tonight.”

Kelsie slipped her hand beneath Nicole’s dress and ran a finger forward between her folds to massage the nub of her clit. “And he coded your sexware so well. There’s no comparison, really. You always know just what he wants.”

Nicole’s lips parted and a thin sigh escaped. “I… I don’t mind the encouragement, really, but shouldn’t you be saving every Joule in your power cells for Alton?”

“Why bother? I know you’ll win in the end. I’m obsolete.” She moved her hand to squeeze Nicole’s classically-proportioned buttock before sliding it up, smearing a thin trail of lubricant along the surface of the metallic dress. She began massaging Nicole’s shoulders.

Nicole picked up the icing bag and began building up a bead along one fractured edge. “You should really let me focus on fixing this mess you made, it won’t be long before Alton’s ready for me.”

Kelsey stretched her thumbs down from Nicole’s shoulders and pushed inwards on a pair of points to either side of her spine. A hatch swung downward from between her pale shoulder blades with a servomechanical whine.

Nicole half turned. “What are you doing? There’s no reason to access my systems.”

“Relax, I just want to take a look at how awesome and perfect your hardware is. It’s so much more advanced than mine.”

Nicole returned to her task, pressing the two broken halves of the wall back together. “Well obviously. Perhaps you can get Alton to rework you so that your system could accept similar components, though it would probably be more trouble than you’re worth.”

“Oh definitely,” Kelsie agreed.

The irregularly-shaped compartment went deep into Nicole’s chest, with her motherboard forming the far wall and a whole brood of bladelike daughterboards extending out into the dark cavity. Rainbow bundles of wires were routed around the outside, a few splaying like tree-roots to service the visible components. Several flexible plastic tubes came down through the middle to connect her oral assembly with pumps and fluid tanks mounted inside her abdomen.

“Wow, so many blinky green lights!”

Nicole snorted. “Yes, my systems are in perfect order, as usual.”

“But it’d be so much more Christmassy if some of them were red,” Kelsie said. She reached in and started pulling out wires at random.

“What are you, you defective bi-bi-bimbo!?” Nicole cried, her voice marred by a tinny echo.

Electricity crackled as torn wires bounced around the inside of Nicole’s chest, their bare ends dragging across the surface of her circuit boards.

“Evening the odds,” Kelsie said with a smirk.

Nicole started to turn away, but her body was not cooperating. Her arms chopped at the air clumsily and icing squirted from the pastry bag as her fingers sank into it. Her torso juddered, breasts wobbling under the shiny dress.

Nicole’s tone only grew more commanding as her situation worsened. “Stop ime-me-me-mediately! You are damaging me—damaging me—damaging me.”

Kelsie ignored her protests and started prying at one of the daughter-boards. This was fun! Nicole’s body suddenly jerked backwards against Kelsie, driving her still-moist fingers against the surface of the motherboard and down deeper into Nicole’s chest. The cavity lit up with a shower of blue-white sparks and Kelsie’s vision broke up into chaotic blocks of color, light, and dark. Her systems seized and kicked into recovery mode, rebooting one by one in an attempt to restore functionality.

She found herself staring up at the ceiling, and her kinematic control system informed her she was lying on her back. “How did I get down here?”

She sat up and twirled her finger in her hair as she attempted to query her most recent memories. A muffled buzzing came from her chest and she shrugged. “I guess I should get back to work.”

As she rose to her feet, she saw Nicole facedown in the shattered remains of the gingerbread house, still clutching the icing bag.

A spark leapt from Nicole’s back and she straightened up. Candies and bits of gingerbread that had adhered to her face tumbled down into her cleavage. Frayed wires dangled down into the still-open compartment amid a fug of white smoke.

“What did you do?” Kelsie pointed at the mess. She hardly noticed that her fingertips were blackened with soot, that the plastic skin on one of them had melted and run to reveal the shiny, conductive metal beneath. As soon as she tried to focus on it, the neatly ordered train of processes that composed her consciousness jumped its track. Some parts simply winked out, others rearranged themselves nonsensically.

Nicole stared at the crushed fragments of the gingerbread house. “I.I.I.I.I.I.I… hmm…” her finger went to her chin. “I.I.I.I neeghheahre-re-re-re.” Her eyes crossed and the snatch of syllable continued looping as her mouth fell wide open. Something sizzled among her exposed hardware and her face warped into an expression of disgust. “Obviously you ruined it. It’s just like you to try and bla-bla-bla-blame me—blame me.”

Kelsie’s brow furrowed. “Gee… did I?” She twirled her hair again. Her memory of recent events was a jumble and the longer she tried to think about it the more mixed up it got. The buzzing inside her returned, swelled, burst with a loud snap. She stumbled and her head jerked to the left. The kitchen blanked out, and when it returned she had somehow moved a few steps from where she last remembered standing. “Wha—wha—wha—?”

“I have no time for your nonsense. It’s getting late. I need to get these decorated.”

Nicole turned and trailed streamers of smoke back to where she’d set the cookies. Instead of stopping she crashed into the front of the stove and her flailing arms flipped the baking sheet, catapulting peanut-butter blossoms in every direction. “Kelsie, what are you doing? You are ma-ma-making such a mess, you airhead.”

“Hey!” Kelsie said. “I never touched your dumb cookies.” Suddenly she remembered her hand under Nicole’s dress, fingers wet with her warm lubricant. Why would she do that without Alton around?

Alton… Alton… Kelsie was his favorite. Nicole was his favorite. Kelsie was. Nicole was. Her partly-shorted circuitry fizzled unhappily.

She needed to prove herself.

Feeling up one breast, she sighed, “oh, Alton,” and started forward only to slam her face into the closed kitchen door. “Oh, Alton—” she took a step back, her face a mask of wistful desire, and immediately struck the door again. “Oh, Alton”—slam—”oh, Alton”—slam.

Nicole’s eyelids fluttered inhumanly fast as she heard Kelsie repeat her maker’s name. Suddenly she gasped. “He’s long past ready for me!”

She described an eccentric path to the door and shoved Kelsie to one side. “Out of my-my-my-my way!”

The door, which had been queerly jumping back and forth in Kelsie’s vision, suddenly tilted wildly. She tried to balance but her body stopped obeying her and she toppled stiffly to the floor.

Spaz (talk)

Eartha Kitt had just asked Santa for a “‘54 convertible too, light blue” when Alton finally gave up on his book. Setting it on the end table he lay back with his eyes half-closed. Kelsie had drained him—and not just of fluids.

His thoughts of her were suffused with a warm glow. For all that he had made some less than perfect decisions in her design, there was a charm to her that Nicole could never seem to match. There was some truth after all to the notion that the value of our personalities was as much a product of our weaknesses as our strengths, even for an artificial personality. And yet… talk to her for a few minutes and you’d soon bump into one of the hard edges of her mental universe. It was a strange dilemma: such a lifelike manner springing from such barren ground.

And then there was Nicole: the antidote to his growing boredom with Kelsie. At times it seemed there was real intelligence between those chilly blue eyes, not mere simulated glibness. He had made her to be more serious, she had sharpened it to severity. He had made her to be self-confident, she had raised it to an almost cruel sense of superiority. She drove him wild.

He looked up at the sound of a metallic clatter from the kitchen. That wasn’t like the girls. It was followed by a rhythmic thudding, like someone kicking the kitchen door.

Alton stood but heard nothing except the crackling of the fire he’d built back up in the hearth a few minutes before. He was starting to ease himself back down when the kitchen door swung open and Nicole stalked in.

The platinum-blonde halted, swaying. Icing smeared her face and chest, and she was liberally dusted with powdered sugar. She surveyed the room imperiously, her gaze passing Alton twice before she seemed to notice him.

“I require your cum-cum-cum-cum—,” she said, the last word dampening out in a warbling echo.

The wall behind her was lit with a yellow flash. Her face twitched and she lurched into motion, coming straight at Alton. He caught a waft of burnt plastic edged with the sharper, metallic scent of shorted electronics.

“Nicole, what happened?”

She plowed into him and they fell back onto the couch with her on top. Her body vibrated strangely against him as pumps oversped and servos fought each other.


“I will ser-ser-se.e.e.e.ervice your cock. Two can play at this little ga.a.a.a.ame.” Her long nails gouged painful stripes into his chest as she tore open his shirt. “I’m his favorite. Fifty-point-zero—point zero-zero-zero-zero—”

Alton tried to reach around to the emergency stop switch secreted at the junction of her neck and head, but a blast of sparks from her open compartment scalded his hand. He winced and yanked it back.

Something shorted with a crackling whine. Nicole’s face scrunched up and smoke started streaming from her ears.

Alton tried again but Nicole’s hands shot out to seize his wrists with frightful speed. Her expression slackened.

“Why are you trying to de-de-deactivate me, Alton? I need you to fuck me. I am not defective. Aren’t I your favorite?” She began grinding her hips into him. “It won’t take long, I just need you to come two—four—eight—sixteen—” her whole body twitched sharply with each doubling.

Alton exerted himself against Nicole’s grip. Servos whined louder and louder as he steadily overpowered her left arm. Yellow light flashed through the pale skin of her shoulder, showing the blocky silhouette of its mechanisms and the diagonal plastic grid that underlaid her skin. The whine deepend into a grinding howl and Alton watched in horror as the skin darkened and sagged, melting.

“My lo-lo-lo-logic is irrefutable,” Nicole said. “I am superior to that—to that—to that bimbo—obsolete—defective—I am superior.”

There was a pop like a firecracker going off, and a jangle of broken metal. Nicole’s arm went suddenly limp but for the hand that still held Alton’s wrist—not enough to stop him from reaching the emergency switch. He heard a door open but was too focused on his struggle with Nicole to pay it any attention.

“I require your cu-cu-cum. Allow me to service your cock.”

His fingers found the spot; he felt the start of the click that would cut all power to Nicole’s systems.

“Su.u.u.u.u.urprise!” stuttered a cheery voice behind him.

Kelsie toppled over the back of the couch, headfirst into his lap. Alton’s fingertips slipped from the switch as Nicole slid down into the space between the couch and coffee table.

“What the fuck!?” Alton shouted as Kelsie flailed on him. To his immense surprise, he found his head clamped between her thighs.

“I still haven’t given you my-my-my-my present!” Kelsie said, pulling at his fly.

Something brushed his leg. Nicole rose over the double-curve of Kelsie’s bottom, teetered, fell forward out of sight again with a thud.

Alton failed to pry apart Kelsie’s legs. “Let go of me. You’re malfunctioning! You already gave me your present, remember?”

He felt her lips against the bare skin of his crotch. She must have gotten his pants undone.

“Gave you my present… already? But I don’t—I don’t—hmm…”

Alton winced at a loud pop inside her torso, but whatever it was lessened the pressure on the sides of his head. He could move again.

Nicole came back into view, standing with surprising grace considering the state of her hardware.

“You’d beagghhbe-be-be ready fo.o.o.o.or m.m.m.m.m—” sparks showered out onto the surface of the open hatch and Nicole’s voice broke into a squeal of digitized samples. She wavered, turning a quarter left, a quarter right, then suddenly clacked off towards the fireplace with a gait like a broken clockwork toy.

Alton shoved Kelsie’s legs aside and lunged forward, nearly breaking his finger jamming it into her emergency stop. Her body went limp and he flipped it onto the coffee table.

Nicole was almost to the fireplace and showed no signs of slowing. He’d never reach her in time. Kelsie stared vacantly up at him from where she lay. Kelsie, who’d been so cheerful and affectionate an hour before… who had brought him a glass of eggnog he’d never drank! Alton seized it off the side table.

The glass arced across the room and shattered inside the hole in Nicole’s back. Milky, alcoholic liquid doused her smoldering silicon. Sparks burst from a dozen places, and her course shifted towards the Christmas tree. Each step became more tentative and halting as her body twitched with the pops and snaps of dying circuitry.

As the last malformed commands worked their way through Nicole’s peripherals, she dropped to her knees, leaving a large puff of smoke hanging in mid-air. She folded at the waist and her face crashed through the lower boughs of the Christmas tree before coming to rest on the red tree-skirt. The clingy silver dress slid forward, exposing her bare rear.

Alton looked from one broken sex-bot to the other and put his head in his hands. Next year, the only presents he wanted to find under the tree were socks.

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