Trouble in Hyrule Castle

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Trouble in Hyrule Castle

It was a beautiful October day, and the new Nintendo Park was performing quite well a few months after opening, barring an incident during the summer. Today though the park was relatively empty, as most of the average guests were either at school or work, leaving it wide open for whoever had the guts and… other parts to take it. One such individual had arrived just a couple hours after the park opened, wandering around and taking in the sights, giving off the impression he was just another guest. But he was far more than that, he was an extremely obsessed Nintendo fan. He had been scoping this park out ever since it opened, and while the summer incident had tightened security in the short term, attendance had seemingly dropped enough for it to be loosened back to normal for the fall. After he had explored most of the park like a kid in a candy store, he found the mascot section.

There was a map just outside it listing all the currently existing locations, Peach’s Castle and Hyrule Castle. Stepping into the area he quickly found that Peach’s Castle was closed for maintenance, and appeared to have scorch marks on the back. He never was a huge Mario fan anyway, so he headed to the only other location there: Hyrule Castle. It was a very faithful recreation of the castle from Breath of the Wild, but obviously in a far better condition than it was in the game. As he reached the front entrance he wondered if they had a Zelda mascot in here like they used to with Peach. He wouldn’t find an answer until he reached the top, where Zelda’s study was supposed to be. The room itself was in a good condition, but there was one difference: he wasn’t the only one in it. Sitting at the desk and frozen in the act of reading something, was Princess Zelda herself. Her golden blonde hair reflected the sunlight in an almost blinding way as he cautiously walks up to her, unsure of if she’s okay or just a mannequin for the room. He touches her shoulder and…

“Hello! I’m Princess Zelda!” She instantly straightens up and starts looking around, her face a vacant smile as she focuses on him, waiting for a response. “H-hi Zelda, nice to meet you… what were you reading?” The nervousness in his voice is incredibly clear, but she doesn’t seem to pick up on that, tilting her head to the side with a giggle as she answers him. “Just some papers, nothing special! I do it every day.” He looks past her, a feat made a bit difficult by her ass, and sees that the papers on her desk are blank. Probably just for show, like another fixture of the room. “Zelda, could you… do me a favor?” She does another giggle, sounding almost identical to her last one, before straightening her head and looking right at him with that smile, that plastered-on smile. “Of course, what would you like me to do?” “I want you to suck me.”

He winces a little at the directness, still unsure of his suspicions about her, at least that is until she speaks again. “I’m sorry, but I didn’t understand that. Could you please repeat it?” “I want you to suck me off, Zelda.” He can see her struggling, as her head falls forward a bit, her expression frozen and smiling at nothing before straightening up. “I’m sorry, I can’t do that. Please request something else.” She isn’t even looking at him anymore, instead getting a real good look at an empty portion of the wall to his right. “But Zelda, isn’t denying a request being rude to the guests? I’m pretty sure the park doesn’t allow that.” He’s just bullshitting at this point, he never read the rules of the park, and the rules for ‘mascots’ would probably be different anyway. It seemed to work though, as she slightly tilted her head to the side and turned her body 90 degrees, jostling her bust around in the process. “I must not be rude to guests. The guests deserve only the best.” zzzt “The request is too vague.” He can hear a zap come from somewhere inside her as she turns back to face him with that same smile. “Please clarify your request.” “I want you to get on your knees, open your mouth, and give me a blowjob.” This time she freezes up for almost a minute, and he can very faintly hear the buzzing of some kind of component before she jerks up again. “Okay, I can do that for you!”

She faces him and immediately drops down to her knees, opening her mouth and then stopping. “What is a ‘blowjob’?” “Okay, so when you feel something in your mouth, close your lips around it and pump your head back and forth.” He can barely contain himself as he drops his pants right in front of her glazed eyes. Hearing her speak as clearly as ever despite her mouth being open definitely isn’t helping with that. After dropping his underwear, he inserts himself into her waiting mouth, feeling her head slowly go back and forth, lips closed around his length. “So Zelda, why don’t you tell me a bit about yourself, and the castle? It looks pretty old.” “Sure! This castle was built centuries ago, by the founders of the kingdom…” He could barely focus on what she was saying, despite her complete lack of formal knowledge she was giving him an amazing blowjob, and just the fact she could talk with no problems while sucking him off overshadowed her actual words. After a couple minutes of this he couldn’t take any more, and felt himself release right into her mouth, some of it hitting her speaker on the way down, distorting her speech. “…and then-then-then he defeated-eated Calamity Ganon-Ganon.”

Even as she kept talking, he pulled out as he heard some bad sounds coming from inside her body. Her arms started jerking, her hands contorting in weird shapes as her eyes started blinking erratically. She tried to stand up, her legs audibly whirring as she straightened out, staring straight ahead at where he was a few seconds ago. Her head tilted to the side as she smiled again, but as she finished he could hear something screeching before a loud crack made her whole body jerk, bouncing her chest as her head tilted to the other side, smile stuck on her face and somehow looking even more vacant. He could hear what used to be a giggle get mangled by her damaged speaker come out of her unmoving mouth as she walked forward, running into the wall before bouncing off. Her body stood still as he could hear snaps, crackles and pops come out of her now half-open stomach panel, which got caught on something under her shirt. Her body walked directly forward again, but this time as she hit the wall smoke started to leave every available hole in her body. This gave him quite a view of her smoking, mostly static face, with the only moving parts being her completely unfocused eyes and randomly blinking eyelids. Her speaker was making random distorted noises that almost sounded like static before a muffled boom came out of her, sending her head in every direction before settling on her left shoulder as her body simply started looping the motion of walking into the wall and bouncing off. A surprisingly clear “Hi, I’m Princess Zelda!” emitting from her head before a static giggle played, causing the line to repeat over and over. Her right hand jerkily came up to her mouth as her left stayed right at her side, hand parallel to the ground. Once he got over that amazing sight he pulled up his pants and started running as fast as he could toward the exit, but not before getting some video of the second busted princess at Nintendo Park.

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