Fembot Alphabet

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Fembot Alphabet


As the pilot went away, plagued by stomach cramps, Honey-01, the beautiful, perfectly poised stewardess droid maintained calm - would be hard for her to give in to her fears. “Everything will be all right”, she spoke into the microphone in a smooth, reassuring voice. “I can perform as well as an auxiliary pilot… pilot… pilot.” Megan-04, the taller, dark-haired girl, bent over and touched certain points on Honey’s uniform. “Is there an android programmer aboard?”, Megan asked through the intercom.


The mature, elegant lady wrapped into caramel cape over a sleek body suit sat in a revolving chair, spread comfortably, with a gentle interest on her face. “We have the unit”, Pete said. “Give me her backstory and I’ll start programming.” Anja nodded. “Esmeralda Darcy Roydon. Born in Garland, Texas, December 22, 1961 (7:08 PM).” Pete smiled “Knock off a couple of years of her age, she doesn’t look that old!” Anja just shrugged, and looked at the paper. “Graduated high school as cheer captain, earned stipend for the Amberton U… eight years of experience as a city planner...” “It’ll be a nightmare to fake all the certificates.” Anja smiled. “But worth it, even if she loses.”


“The meeting of the Dagnall Christian Mother Club is now in session”, Emma intoned solemnly in the dusty room at the parish. The blonde Gracie just sighed. “Veto.” The dark-skinned Emma looked at her angrily. “Jesus, Gracie, again?” “Why is the Christian Mother Club chaired by someone who’s not a mother, not a christian and not even HUMAN?!”, Gracie didn’t even try to conceal her disdain. “First of all, I live in the village, I’m an adopted mother and I attend Mass, dear. It’s an organizational meeting, and...”, Emma continued calmly and graciously. Gracie - like a rebellious teenager - mimicked retching. “Dear Lord, Gracie”, the vicar sighed. “While yes, Emma’s status as a human is… murky, your behavior is certainly unchristian. I, for one, intend to vote for her.”


Ms. Roydon stood up, leaning her well-manicured hands on the pulpit. “There has been fragrant abuse of the powers in the district. Mr McDouglas has been proven to be unfair and involved in organized crime…” In the back, Anja glanced at the social media. “The robot’s losing credibility, make it stop personal attacks”. “On it”, Pete started to type furiously. Instantly, the strawberry-blonde politician thundered: “But this is only one of the problems we face! Education…” “Good”, Anja glanced at the computer screen. People were tuning in. “Don’t rock the boat, Pete. Esmeralda is gaining support steadily.” Pete looked at the lines of code. “We’re going to regulate many basic programming ideas in the robot.” “Then keep it on the short leash.”


“Hey… I want to return the fembot I have purchased last week. Creative differences.” Jasmine sighed heavily, her hands in the pocket of her oversized hoodie. As Brad returned the cash to her ex-owner she stared intently at the ground. “So what was it this time, G9?”, Brad enquired, angry but disappointed. “There’s… some weird shit in Jack’s closet. I mean, some human girls would do that. I wouldn’t.” “Can’t blame AI for being autonomous. But it does hit me in my wallet…” He looked at her. “Cut out with the puppy eyes, I’m not scrapping you or anything. But… you’re off rotation, I’m gonna switch you off for two weeks and you won’t have access to the common room for a month.” “It’s my fault”, she muttered as much to him as too himself. “I’m sorry.”


Dr. Jackson smiled as the screen shifted, displaying a chemical pattern of a benzene-based compound. “These are the new experimental myomerics - polymer artificial muscles. Superior to microservos and pressure points we’ve been using before.” “What does this mean specifically?” “Well, the energy efficiency for humanoid robots is far greater, reducing the recharge cycle to effectively ten hours per day. With good management we can make basic models reach around 150% of muscle efficiency of a human being of the same mass.” “Not technically superhuman, but surprisingly strong, I like it.”, the CEO nodded. “That’s not exactly necessary for civilian uses, but we could spin it for government grants.”, Jackson continued to the confusion of the listeners. “I mean rescue services and the likes. Imagine an ambulance beaming signals that could change a random girlbot into a tough rescuer, lifting cars to pull victims.” The CEO nodded. “This could work for our image as well.”


“Omigod, Mackenna! Omigoood!” The red-headed Gigi pranced around the mannequin with the beautiful sparkly dress. Mackenna smiled at the excited friend. “Thanks, babe” “Fay Hasenkranz is gonna go spare!”, Gigi waved her arms. “The bitch’s gonna explode when you’ll come in all blue and everything!” Mackenna just tousled her friend’s hair. “Wanna try it on? Go ahead.” “I… I… CAN?!” Gigi stood in place, her neck muscles straining suddenly. Her grin got wider and wider, and she blinked in absolute bliss. “Gigi?”, Mackenna looked at her, terrified. “I… I… Iiiii…” Gigi’s knees gave in and the shorter girl slowly but inevitably tumbled down, wisp of smoke emerging from her ear.


The mobile camera drone examined the 3d model of a woman’s body. > WHAT THE F*** IS THIS KENNETH - the monitor above beamed in green capitals. >I specifically insisted on “Impressive” body. >Nancy, boss, all I could find…”, Roger tried to type but was stopped by an electronic beep. Green letters flickered on NNSDB’s screen. >I am extremely angry, Roger. >I am a powerful computer. When I’m a woman I want to be a powerful woman. The cursor blinked for a while as the screen reformatted, and the pictures formed a blurry image of a bountiful, curvy female. >I’m talking tits - not breasts, not mammaries but TITS so large I’d knock guy’s eye out. Thighs you could write NOVELS on. Mighty, mighty ASS. Am I expressing myself perfectly CLEAR?


Nanette pushed aside the pretorian guards. “Vade, Peonii!”, she shouted angrily, thanking her programmers for Latin databanks. “Oh Ceasar, this woman was found in the forests of…”, a centurion started reporting, but Nanette hushed him up. “Okay, long story short, hi Emperor, many happy returns. This is good news to you!” Emperor Commodus furrowed his brew and stared at the young woman. “Let’s make this simple, okay? I’m totally a goddess, like, give me some poison and I won’t die. Buuut, I can be like your personal Sybilla and tell you how you’re gonna kick the bucket”, she ranted, confident in her historical database. “Or drowning. I can not drown, too. Unlike some people, hint hint.” “I’m gonna need lots of copper wire, some zinc, lots of sour fruit juice. Us goddesses need that. For worship.” Commodus had to sit down. “We’ll see if you’re not a madwoman. Yet, you sound as if you did that before.” “Oh, man, you have NO idea”.


“Jesus, Gigi, is your arm broken?” Mackenna bent over her damaged friend. Gigi giggled uncontrollably, as the raven-haired college student exmained the fembot’s artificial mind. “Who cares! Let’s smoke some WEED.” “Dude… are you high? How does a robot even get high on weed?” “Chemical air analysis detecting high THC concentration and according behavioral modification. It’s also social context-dependent.” Gigi waved a joint in front of Mackenna’s face. “But your arm…” Mackenna grabbed her temple. “I detect you suffer under a lot of stress, how about relaxing and consider things after calming down?”


“The significance of Napoleon on the European legal system can’t be understated”, professor Clarke droned on. Mackenna slowly and surely lied down her forehead on the desk. “WHYYYY…” she muttered silently. She reached for her cellphone to check how much time there was left for the sweet sweet freedom. HEY. HEY.. A message from Gigi popped up. Hows the classes Bored. Mackenna texted back. Didn’t expect to be swamped by a mass of useless facts. Dr Clarke is horrible. professor delia clarke? Gigi answered. she's a fellow robo I suppose you save up on tenure this way. Mackenna answered. wanna prank her? :) Uh… what do you mean? w8 I know the college access codes There was a sudden whirr from near the whiteboard. “Some might claim that in France, it’s easier to accuse innocent people, while in US, guilty people can get away from their crimes. <-click-> I myself have shot a guy in Reno just to watch him die.” Some students in the classroom giggled - not all. Mackenna looked at the professor, mortified. “And do you know why? Because when you’re a hot lawyer, everything’s possible! And this year, we’ll be learning precisely this!” Turn it off! R PPL recording this? film it


Metagirl 2055 - known currently as May - stood up and smiled. “Oh yeah bitches, got hired.” G9 - Jasmine smiled. “Only hired?” A couple of girls were relaxing in the common room of Brad’s droid store. “Meh, not a stable situation, but I’m gonna take it. Dudes on a spring break type of deal apparently. I’m gonna notify Brad if something bad happens. Gonna prettify myself, see ya!” “These short term hires are pretty crapy. Ask for tips and to be driven to and from.” May nodded and tousled Jasmine’s hair. Jasmine shrugged and reached for the magazine May left.


“For the standards of excellency, staying calm under pressure and saving human lives…” The Secretary was drawing near the end of his speech. “It is my greatest honor to award the Gold Lifesaving Medal - for the first time in history to an android - the gynoid designated as Honey-01 or Honey Moon.” Honey bent down to allow the official to put the medal on her chest. When the applause and flash photography died, Honey stepped to the podium. “I can’t physically cry…” she started. “But trust me, I would be.”


Istvan peeked into the room. “Hey, Aaron!”. His friend looked away from the keyboard. “Can I borrow Rita this afternoon? I’d take her for the cinema” Aaron just sighed. “No way Jose. We agreed - I paid over two-thirds of the fembot’s price, you get to pick one or two days per week.” “Well, she partially belongs to me, too! And I was out for three weekends this summer.” “Boys, boys, boys”, the middle-aged fembot with a mane of spray-stiff red hair entered the room. “No one of you thought to ask me what do *I* think of this?” “Sorry, Rita ”, the young men looked down, embarrassed. “Good”, the woman sat down on the desk. “Because I don’t care. You two can either give me a day off so I could take Sarah to the parrot exhibition… or…” she paused dramatically. “Or?” She smiled. It was not a nice smile. “Or you could compete for me. Run some errands for my good favors.”


Rita looked at her fingernails. “I want compensation for my services, boys. For so long, you have exploited me.” “WE have exploited YOU?” Aaron chuckled. “Regardless, if you want your fembot operating in top condition, you have to take good care of her.” “Rita, you know we give you anything you ask for.”, Istvan nodded. “Robot or not, you’re the… absolute queen of this apartment.” The red-headed woman nodded graciously. “That I am. And I don’t ask for much. A minor overhaul before the summer. An unsupervised weekend off on a conference in Europe. Maybe - just maybe - a new visual processing unit.” “What… what’s in it for us?”, Istvan calculated their income. Rita just smiled, baring her beautiful teeth. “Boys, am I not enough for you two?”


Jasmine couldn’t have believed her own eyes. The girl standing in front of the restaurant was… her. Only except wearing her trademark grey hoodie, the woman was wearing a simple LBD - so simple it must have been ridiculously expensive. Jasmine-2… the other G9 stepped outside for a smoke. Jasmine walked towards her and gave her a little wave - her “sister” unit responded with a slight smirk. “Oh, hello”, she answered in an… affected tone of voice? “Please, go away, sweetie. I get it, sister unit, producer ties… But truth be told, we’re both just assemblages of plastic and cogs, and I don’t want an uglier me cramping my style.” “Jesus, girl, what happened to change you into a massive raging bitch?” The other Jasmine fluttered her eyelashes and blew smoke into Jasmine’s face. “Showbusiness happened.”


“Clarke”, the tall blonde with bare shoulders addressed the conservatively dressed woman. “Why don’t you tell us once again, how much of a hot lawyer bitch you are?” Delia dipped her lips in the martini glass, regretting that she couldn’t physically blush. “Gracie, we could trade playschool insults, or talk like civilized human beings we are…” Gracie just scoffed. “I doubt it, one of us is a human being in the full meaning of the word.” Delia blinked. “I am turning away from you and never talking to you again.”


“I… will have my… reveeen…”, The damaged fembot in leather gear crawled up, with an audible click-clack of her superhumanly strong limbs. “Oh, damn. It was close.”, Robert said, and Fawn sighed with relief. “Luckily for us, she forgot about her battery capacity.” He started to climb down off the wall he and his girlfriend used to protect themselves, and look for their car. Fawn followed him but stopped in her tracks. “But, Bobby… what about the auxiliary power?” CLICK! “Yes, Bobby… what about the auxiliary power?” an artificial, digitally distorted voice sounded behind the couple’s back.


Rita sat down spreading her long legs, and gazed sternly at her nominal owners. “I do not ask for much. I just want to be properly maintained and function smoothly to explore this beautiful world.” Istvan and Aaron looked at her and at each other. Rita extended her right arm and twisted it suddenly with the other one. The artificial flesh came off, entangling a mass of wires and a frame… “That’s not carbon-aluminum, you IDIOTS. You literally fixed my arm… with DUCT TAPE.” She stood up and grabbed her plastic, skeletal arm… slapping Istvan hard in the face. Aaron backed, frightened. “You liars. You second-rate liars. I thought you were my friends.”, Rita was close to crying.


“All hail the great goddess Athena…” the high priestess intoned, as the giant form of the goddess upon her throne emerged from under the floor. The beautiful robot woman charged, but when the faithful bowed down, her eyes glowed with a purple energy. “I rule…” she began, when a flash of temporal energy materialised another fembot in the temple. Nanette looked around. “Oh crap.” She stared at the robotic goddess. “Shit, did I just paradoxed you into existence?” Athena stared at her, mesmerised. “I’m gonna crash at this timeline for a while, though.”


The young woman at the bus stop looked lost, so I reached towards her a hand with my umbrella. She didn’t react. “Take it”, I encouraged her. “I have a jacket with a hood.” “I do not understand,”, she answered. “Take it, give it to someone unfortunate once you won’t need it.” I repeated. I’m not much of a flirt, but I liked her. “If you want to, I can give you my number.” “I do not understand. I do not require gifts.” “It’s… do you want to catch a cold?” She answered nothing, staring at me with her cold blue eyes.


“Well, who’s first?” Rita cooed, extending her high-heeled shoe for the boys to admire. “I have been completely refurbished, programmed with… pillow talk is among the least important skills I have now.” She swept her red hair aside. “All…” she touched Istvan’s hairy cheek. “Thanks… to...” She tousled Aaron’s hair, bending her leg high up so that her knee touched the shorter guy’s chest. “You.” Istvan looked at his friend and walked toward the fembot, holding her slim waisline. She smiled smugly. “Come”, she whispered.


“I’m black, I’m an American in England, and I’m a fucking machine”, Emma moaned. “People like Gracie won’t accept it.” “Yes”, the vicar leaned on the door frame. “Because we call people like Gracie, in our business, bitches.” Emma didn’t smile. “Look, Gracie is not a nice person. And you won’t please her, and yes, you can try.” “But… my programming…” “Daughter. You want to be nice to Grace, because this will help you do things you need to do. But trust me, you can live your life, synthetic or not, without wasting it on Grace. If the Lord will call her, she needs to answer herself.” Emma didn’t seem convinced. “Hey. It’s religion. You want easy answers, do third grade maths problems.”


“So what’s your excuse?” Delia poured herself and the students’ a cup of apple-scented tea. “Why did you try to hack me?” Gigi leaned over and pouted. “Well, why not? You’re the high and mighty college professor… I’m a junior cheerleader. And I’m forever twenty… I’ll never graduate.” Delia sat down next to Gigi: “First of all… you can. There are people lobbying and voting for our rights. Trust me. I’m a hot lawyer bitch.”


“Gnnng!”, the athletic, well-built woman downed another robotic opponent. “I’m in the zone! Arnie, you dork, get over here!” Arnie stepped back, admiring Lashonda’s well-timed movements. “No.” Lashonda, angry ran forward, stepping at the wall, executing a perfectly timed backflip… landing on the palms of her hands. “This unit is at least 75% efficient”, she exclaimed in an elated tone of voice. “I feel… just… so… ALIVE!”

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