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The Analisse Project

An ancient artefact with potential lessons for future Arendtcore design

By Aymee Ichigo

Well, I drew the short straw. so here goes with what I remember, even though this isn't really my forte in the company. I mean, I'm a Legalist, not a Historian, dammit!

Anyways...

Introduction to the Anlisse Project

In the 2040s, we began to branch into human-like androids. We also began to start building up the very first boroughs of what could be called the Original Districts of what would become Little Sanctuary (Districts 1-40). It was a trying time for all concerned, juggling the creation of a new MNC as well as a new home in the previously wilder, unmanaged spaces of Minnesota.

As part of our own "Eat Your Own Dogfood" efforts, we supplied our first waves of employees/homeowners with Spousal Units for the new Housing Programme and Family Programme. These were limited-edition, heavily artisanal units right down to the bolts and wiring, and while that should have led to disaster, the fact is that they turned out to be one of our most ridiculously resilient designs.

Seamus really thinks sometimes we should build these again, but I have to advise him again and again that the process that made these wonderful machines sadly did not scale well at all. Let's have a look at one of these units we inadvertently never gave out and keep in storage for historical interest....


We commissioned and built 10397 units of the Analisse design. These were handed out primarily to our male staff who joined us at such a risky early stage as a sort of reward and anchor to tie them down to the land and Company, though select units were handed out to some famous personalities such as Ethan Creed of the Funboys House Of Porn, Jericho Escher of the Peru Resistance Partisans, and The pop duo Twinergy (as seen on their infamous music video "She Was Made For Making Me Fall In Love"), amongst others.

Analisse 4633:Never Used, Never Initialized

The unit seen here is Unit 4633, which was intended for an accountant who sadly perished while trying to make his way here from Florida. We never did reassign this unit for some reason not documented. The proof of unit identity can be found hardcoded into the unit identifier, on a chip somewhere within the unit that apparently does nothing, as well as sewn into the Alice-In-Wonderland style outfit as seen here, somewhere under the collar of the shirt, and on the left thigh flesh as a faint tatto (this tattoo sadly wears out with prolonged operation - not a reliable indicator, really)

The Alice-In-Wonderland dress outfit consisted of a small apron in white and blue long dress, plus thigh high stockings and patent leather shoes. As part of our 50th anniversary celebrations, some newer design units were released with a similar dress outfit as a limited time option, and these remain a collector's item second in value only to the actual originals. The lack of the Unit number under the collar is a tell-tale sign that a AID outfit was from the newer runs and not this first batch. As befits the artisanal approach of this unit, the outfits were all commmissioned from New Peru and sewn by local artisans from proper synthcotton and lace elements.

Frankly, the logistics and QC on this part of the project was a nightmare for me and the next time someone proposes this kind of thing, I will shoot them down. With a fleet full of CIWSes.

The hair on Analisse units is real human hair, punched into a scalp module follicle by follicle carefully by hand. Similar work with human hair was done on the eyebrows and eyelashes. roughly equal amounts of blonde, brown, redhead and brunette straight hair were sourced for this effort and work done inhouse by the Artistic Branch... this was potentially a major bottleneck and frankly it is a miracle that it wasn't.

of 10397 units ever issued, 10300 units remain fully operational, and are even regularly found going through the MedicalCare programme in Little Sanctuary or equivalent maintenance regimes when operated outside of Little Sanctuary.

Internal Unit Details

Body Detailing and Fleshing

To simplify the build, we cut many corners where we felt that it did not impact the quality of the final product much. One corner we cut was using only Caucasian Pale Tri-Phase Silicone as the flesh for the Analisse, which led to accusations of racism. This was something we could have handled better, especially since the unit assigned to Ethan Creed (Unit 00015, known as Nuuna Creed and often seen as his wheelchair assistant and nurse at Funboys House parties) was dark-skinned using Chocolate Black Triphasic Silicone, so clearly we could have added ethnicity to the mix with some extra resources. But we didn't get any complaints from our staff about this issue, mainly. The use of triphasic silicone in a thicker gauge did allow for it to wear much longer than expected, with patch jobs far and few between on the flesh of the Analisse.

The body was sculpted primarily by our long-suffering Chief Artist in Residence, Marcus Manners. As the tech we were using at the time wasn't exactly compact, the brief for the sculpt was "make her a large-caliber bombshell". Result: a voluptuous, high-volumed shape with plenty of room for the less efficient, bulkier components the Analisse uses. These components are also part of what makes this design so reliable and long-lasting - damage takes a lot longer to become a problem to any component, giving the owner more time to locate and replace these parts before they turn into a actual failure.

Head Systems

Amongst our staff were some former Mel-Eisner engineers, who created the first of many "animatronic head" designs as seen on modern units - while not compatible with the open Mel-Eisner EmoteDef specification, the preloaded motion/reflex data in these first drafts did satisfy most staff as well, even with a limited set of emotes and no variable mixing done. The head also offered high-fidelity vocal reproduction as well as a pathwway for modest amounts of food and water into a then-new digester design that unfortunately did not take well to full meals with drinks. A meal with an Analisse was always a meal with a sparrow of sorts.

Animatronic Data and Mixing

Voicework was provided by several then well known actresses. Given the slightly tawdry nature of the project, many of them opted to or were forced by their agencies to credit the work to the anonymous "Annie Dee" and take a fatter paycheck. Privacy clauses prohibit me even now from disclosing the names of these actresses, but they did wonderful jobs on it such that the voice patterns mixed from them has been compared to a god melody. Another reason this project cannot exactly be replicated in this day and age.

Motion was provided in part by performances from the same actresses that provided the voice for this design (aka Annie Dee, the Anonymized), as well as a collaboration with Funboys House of Porn, where we digitized performances from several eras of porn within the Funboys archives for audio, motion, reflex and sequencing routes. As thanks for allowing and blessing the project, Ethan Creed was gifted with Unit 0007, Nuuna Creed, probably one of the only Analisse units not specced as pale Caucasian. The data was unfortunately stored in a format that is now obsolete, and efforts to port it to modern Arendtcore designs have proven problematic.

Data Strorage and Remixing

The motion/audio/reflex/sequencing data for Analisse functionality was stored on a fledgling cartridge format that was showing promise at the time, in part because of its incredible hard-wearing and dense data storage properties. The AME-ROM microdisc format promised a 10 millennium lifespan for both its drives and its discs, and the Analisse uses a unique double-sized, double-sided variant of this format to store 15000 words and discrete syllables, plus 80 hours of different motions and reflex actions.

This combination was mixed by a Parelt-Ehsen G45 animatronics controller chipset and piped to 800 servo units spread across the design. While the lifespan possibility of AME-ROM seems exaggerated, the fact is that we have yet to see a single one of these personality discs or drives ever wear out after over a century, and it has seen limited use elsewhere in its original definitions as a long term proven archival format. AME-ROM is unfortunately much slower than modern semivolatiles, prompting some to consider Analisse units as lower-intellect.

This is a mistake. They are smart - they just take longer to form the words and take the actions that their logic circuits require due to the slower access times of AME-ROM.

Vocal mixing of syllables into owner names and other custom phrases is provided by a Jenuwhine Pandragon K35 chipset. In selected units that were going to be assigned to staff with clear musical bents, this was replaced with a modulatable version. It was a mistake, as Seamus Arendt notes..

"Seamus Arendt- The modulator on the musically enabled version of the K35 was meant to be locked into place when not being affected by wireless MIDI signals from a registered open-compatible music controller, but the damned thing kept popping in and affecting normal speech. This led to Analisse units given this modified chipset a certain randomized sing-song effect to their words. The people these were intended for were all delighted and never demanded a patch or fix. But I'm going to call it what it is - a small mistake in implementation that I made to a chipset that was working already fine for its main purposes. I'm honest enough to admit I'm a screwball when I'm one... "

Visual/Audio Sensors, Main Control Panel

The visual and audio sensors, as well as main control panel were provided by Ban-Teki Tokyo Corp.

The audio sensors are essentially high-gain and capable of picking up very quiet whispers, yet capable of coping with loud noises of up to 200 decibels for short periods of time, within a range of 20 feet. The visual sensort are capable of normal wavelength sight at ranges between 2 and 100 feet, and are housed in a eyeball-like structure that includes see-through doll-eye iris elements that can be configured at initial boot to have one of 16.7million colors.

The main control panel is mainly analogue switches and buttons and gauges for power reserve measures and processor loads, with the only digital item being a 40x96 mint green character display for short log messages and errors. This is backed by a unifiying chipset that collates all the required logs and readouts as well as issues commands from the buttons and switches. This approach is no longer in use on modern Arendtcore designs, but enthusiasts of the Analisse design say it is somehow more... human. Personally, I think it's archaic, but I'm a legalist, not a doll designer, okay?

Bodily Touch/Heat Sensors

touch/heat sensoring is provided all over the body by sensnor assemblies merged into the triphasic silicone inhouse. Again, an approach no longer used. This results in a relatively bulky and hard to maintain external covering, but also warms it up slightly, allowing a sort of 'natural warmth' effect that many staffers issued this unit type praised.

Sexual Functioning (Vaginal)

As with many Arendtcore designs to come, the Analisse has a working non-reproductive vaginal module. This module is easily removable for servicing, and is powered by an array of microservo/bump sensor arrays linked to a CodyTech N35 sexual response chipset as used in many modern Funboys sex toys for detecting vaginal input, pushing out open-compatible vaginal lubricant solutions, and providing responsive motion to said inputs. While clunky, this makes the Analisse very resilient to sexual overloading as similar approaches are used on other hotspots of sexual activity and response to buffer and handle sexual reflexes while minimizing added loads to the animatronic controllers.

Cultural Impact

While the Analisse was a in-house project primarily issued within Little Sanctuary to only Arendtcore employees, a few did make it out into the rest of the world. These few units had an oversized impact relative to their very rare numberings.

EDITOR NOTE: Most of the subsections in these are cribbed whole sale from a internal video "Analisse Project" released for Arendtcore's 50th birthday. Copies of it are available in NSFW and SFW editions from the Little Library in Arendtcore Minnesota-area libraries. If outside this area, please request and wait at least two months for a copy from your local librarian.

Twinergy

The pop duo Twinergy were known childhood acquaintances of the Arendt brothers: Theodorus and Alpha Fenris. Naturally, when it came to handing out the Analisse units, the Fenris brothers scored one with a modulatable K35 vocal mixer chipset.

THEODORUS FENRIS: Well, when we unboxed that gift from the Arendts, she was all dowdy and chonkers. We named her Stella Fenris, and the temptation to turn our band into a trio with her in the back was always there. We ran a few notes into her with the wireless MIDI while she was singing, and it was...

ALPHA FENRIS: Magical. Yes. That was the right word. like a Goddess from on high. We used that effect on "She was made for making me fall in love", and what was supposed to be a potboiler single on a staid album become a sudden wicked hit...

Sadly, this also proved to be one of the times that a Analisse unit was destroyed irreversibly. Tensions frayed and ownership over Stella became a sore point between the Fenris brothers, threatening to derail their newfound popularity. It came to a head with the destruction of the unit by the brothers using various implements, an act documented on the video for the song released a few weeks later.

THEODORUS: When you hear the song she sings as we break her apart, what we actually heard on set was her repeatedly saying the same three words... "I Forgive you." in that gentle singsong manner she always had when we weren't using her as a musical instrument.

ALPHA: .... That's what she kept saying... I regret we ever destroyed our muse.

THEODORUS: Cursed for the rest of our careers with no more hits. That's what happened. She had this voice that we couldn't get even from a nice girl on a vocooder.

ALPHA: you can imagine what Seamus said when he saw the video release...

-abrupt cut to SEAMUS ARENDT, looking both saddened and pissed off-

SEAMUS ARENDT: 'You two are fucking imbeciles. This unit is irreversibly destroyed, and I'm not going to stretch my ass again getting you a new unit. Live with your stupidity for the rest of your life... dumb c--ts... This is NOT how you treat the gifts others give you, not now, not ever. Let the price of it be high for those dunheads.

The price was indeed high. As Theodorus Fenris noted later, they never had another hit single for the next twenty years till they retired.

Jericho Escher

Another Analisse was given to a most unexpected recepient: Jericho Escher, President of New Peru and former leader of the Peru Resistance Partisans insurgent front.

JERICHO ESCHER: This Seamus crazy and me, we once had a little fight blow up around us. Government folks. He could have just walked the hell out, instead he starts slugging them and yelling at me like a maniac about how 'he had my back'... you Americans and your Americanisms. One year later, he sends this big box labelled "Sumaq señora" (Beautiful Woman in Quechua) for out of nowhere for me. I open it up and inside the wrapping was indeed the most beautiful Sumaq señora I had ever seen indeed. Maybe a little plumper than my usual tastes... So naturally, being the utter Joder Idiota Tonto (utter fucking idiot, Quechua) I am, I accidentally named her "Plastica" because I called her a plastic whore while setting her up. She didn't seem to have any issues with me calling her that, but I couldn't change her name after. laughter from Jericho

SEAMUS: Oh god, this is one of the most fucking stupid user stories I remember, really. There was a reset code for that in the manual, and the damn idiot, for forty years, from that day, all the way through his blessed presidency, to his death... he never CHANGED her name. I suspect he actually grew to like it, really.

JERICHO: In victories, I held her in my hideout and kissed her deeply and made tender love to her. In defeat, she soothed me and distracted me the same way. She always waited up for me. This one time, I was cut off from my team for three months. When I got home, there was a warm meal on the table and her loving arms. I asked what she had been doing while waiting for me to come back. and they say "the same thing. Every night, she makes your favorite Pollo a La Brasa and Ceviche (roast chicken dish), then waits for you by the front door till midnight before asking us not to let it go to waste. And I'm sorry, Hatun Umalliq (Supreme Leader, Quecha), but all the good flavor you say is in the dish? I swear it is your hallucinations because you love her so much." I never let her cook again when I wasn't around to eat it after that. laughter from Jericho

Jericho Escher served for eight years as President of New Peru after the overthrow of the junta, and Plastica Escher became his vice president and first lady of New Peru, publishing a critically acclaimed cookbook for charity with pictures of very beautiful (and terrible tasting) Peruvian dishes. After serving two terms, he retired quietly, enjoying the company of his Analisse. Upon his death, the unit mourned him for a year before returning to Little Sanctuary for recycling or reassignment. For privacy reasons, the Company cannot disclose the eventual path she went upon after her return to us.

SEAMUS: And she was the first time I'd ever heard of a Analisse unit mourning its owner. Not the last either. I asked Bellamy, "did we ever program these units to pine for their owners or mourn them?"

BELLAMY ARENDT: I looked back at this dunhead and shook my noggin. I was like, "wot? I was never that good at programming AI girlfriends, and I wasn't going to start doing it. Perhaps there was something I'd coded that kicked in on those conditons that came together to form such a behavior, but I don't think I could deliberately replicate it. It was beautiful though...

SEAMUS: Yeah... I hope we reassigned her. These Analisse units were all beauties. would be a shame to scrap one if it wasn't fatally damaged.

Ethan Creed

Another rare outsider who gained access to a Analisse unit was Ethan Creed.

ETHAN CREED: These kids from some brand new company called and said they was interested in the Funboys catalog. We asked which shows, they said "ALL OF IT". Turns out it wasn't just for watching.

Arendtcore asked to collaborate with Funboys catalog in digitizing their catalog for future media. As part of the deal, they were permitted to analyze every single frame of footage from the eight decade history of the company, spanning a wide range of classic actors and actresses from Don Decock and Valia Vajinni to more recent favorites such as Julie Ambervale and Charlie Horse Leg-3. A corpus of data was generated of motion, audio, reflex, and sequencing pathing data, which was shared with Funboys for their future projects. On full payment for the video conversion part of the project, Ethan was promised something.

ETHAN: So I look at these giant hard disks full of petabytes of examinations of how everyone in our stable moved or were moving. It was already nice of them. Then this Seamus kid, he goes "Actually I may also have something else for you in a couple of weeks." Like hell I was waiting. I went right back to caring for my girls and guys at the House of Funboys like I always have for the past few decades.

-Smashcut to SEAMUS and BELLAMY- SEAMUS: in my hurry to batch out the triphasic silicone flesh for the Analisse units, I'd accidentally mixed up the numbers for one unit's worth. What was supposed to be Caucasian beige became this slightly chocolatey black complexion.

BELLAMY: Did we ever replicate that shade ever again?

SEAMUS: We did... turns out it was potentially as strong as TNT as a plastic explosive.

BELLAMY: *grabs SEAMUS by the collar* YOU INSANE LUNATIC. You could have led with it back then!

SEAMUS: I didn't want the evidence lying around, we weren't going into military work. so I laid it out onto one unit and palmed it off on a random guy with a prayer.

-smashcut back to ETHAN CREED- ETHAN CREED: turns out it was this black chick in an Alice in Wonderland Dress. I ask him "wow, blaxploitation proposal?" He says, it's a gift to me, thanks for letting us use something we could never have gotten our hands on if we had to pay you. I'd been suckered really, but I let it go... She looked like a fine piece of thick ass, you know what I'm saying? Brother's gotta acknowledge brother when they give a great gift, ya?

The unit was christened "Nuuna" by Ethan Creed himself. The man had suffered a severe impairment from a polio superstrain that didn't respond to the vaccine, losing the use of everything beneath the waist, requiring a wheelchair for most of his life. That hadn't stopped his wheeling and dealing to build up Funboys.

What Nuuna offered Creed was special.

ETHAN: so this Nuuna girl, after a few days, she starts grabbing my wheelchair and wheeling me whereever I want. I tell her I can move around on my own. She looks at me and calmly says "I was placed here to please you and service you in any way you desire." I forced the issue and let's just say... she really did that. She'd help me around during the parties at my House, then when everything had quietened down and folks were sleeping, she made sure I had a good clean, fresh clothes, a comfy bed, and yeah, she'd roll in herself and make sure it was EXTREMELY comfy. Girl had a voice like an angel, hands like the devil. At one point I swear I actually looked down and saw what a mess I'd made. "It's still alive, you just can't feel it." She'd said.

Nuuna would remain a quiet and loyal confidante to ETHAN for the next two decades till his passing, before making the same return pilgrimage to Little Sanctuary as so many external units would if possible. She had declined a role on a farewell porn flick dedicated to Ethan, saying

NUUNA: I was placed here merely to serve and comfort ETHAN. He is gone. There is no reason for me to be dropping my panties for a porn show when I've never done it for Ethan for two decades. Now would you let me past so I can board my slowliner home?

-smashcut to SEAMUS and BELLAMY-

SEAMUS: This home-return instinct in Analisses we send out into the world, is it really that common?

BELLAMY: Unless they're incapacitated or destroyed, 100%. And before you ask, no, I programmed no such thing, it's some sort of emergent behavior in their code. Code that I wrote in a hurry for this project.

SEAMUS: We should hurry you on coding projects more. It seems to lead to nice things.

BELLAMY: Oh, give me a fucking break, bro! I want my work life balance!

This list of notable exported Analisses is incomplete. You can help us by locating and providing more examples!

Arendtcore Policy on Handling of Analisse Units

The incredible rarity and extended life experience of Analisse Units, even those that have been wiped, means that Arendtcore is extremely reluctant to scrap or dismantle irreversibly any Analisse unit, unless the unit expresses a genuine and informed desire to meet such destruction via Disassembly Line. In practice, this is further compounded by the relative beauty and specialness of Analisse Units causing DLine operators to crash out and fail to execute. In 30 attempts to fully run a D-Line disassembly on an Analisse, only 2 attempts resulted in the successful destruction of the unit - and the insanity of the operators who managed successfully to execute the cases.

Storage or Reassignment

Analisse units returning to base in Minneapolis are offered long-term storage or reassignment as soon as possible to another viable person in the Families Programme requiring a Spousal Unit of unusual quality based on Psychology evals.

PR Work Across America

Alternatively, some have been refitted with enhanced survival systems and roam the American states pamphleting for hiring opportunities at Arendtcore. Units modified for this purpose are significantly faster-thinking, more resilient to many forms of damage, and usually manage to return to base repeatedly while charming Americans of all stripes they meet.

Modification Accumulation

The age of Analisse units that have survived to date means that it is highly likely that they may have been assigned to at least one competent technician. This often results in modifications by technicians to bring them up to the standards of the technician's times, including enhanced data processing, hardened replacements for the 10k-rated disc reader/disc combination, faster-firing servos, improved animatronic head function, or even smell. Other modifications known to have occurred include the installation of knowledge bases not normally associated with Analisses, as well as the inherent changes caused to neural pathing by prolonged uptime, which cannot be removed even by software reformats.

Notable Analisse Units

Besides the units mentioned under "Cultural Impact", many other units may have become notable for various things:

1433 - Donated body to Arendtcore Technician school for continued education of technicians. It is a tradition every five years to fully reassemble this unit and ask if it wishes to continue seeking non-activation after a brief on the occurrences since last reactivation. To date, 1433 has always requested to be returned back to static educational display and practice material. Great care is taken to maintain the parts that make up this unit by Arendtcore custodians in case the answer turns to 'yes' one day.

6591 and 6594 - Black and White Sisters, programmed by their respective owners to play chess in a ongoing competition to see who could produce the superior chessplayer android. The contest got out of hand. Both units are now explicitly disallowed from competition, but actual chessmasters regularly request matches with these units online. The 'Black and White sisters' (as they now call themselvees) regularly oblige, to the pain of those requesting. The original owners made up and passed away years apart, and the Sisters are now managed by the Arendtcore Chess Concern. Previous identifiers were Annie Black and Liddy White.

6300 - The Goddess Chef - Unit upgraded with better olfactory and taste sensors by a technician at a chef's request. Regularly taught kitchen work and recipes. Now hosts a weekly long-running (40 years and going) cooking show online of the same name. Still answers to name of Anna Kelades, surname last deceased owner's. Currently managed by Arendtcore Foods and Cooking Concerns. Still uses unit identifier Junita Child.

2701 - Slipped standard Arendtcore anti-amok protocols and murdered 47 bandits in Iowa using nothing but throwing of selected objects and stealth. Objective created due to risk posed by bandit raid to Iowan camp her spouse was assigned to provide medical care in. Has gone missing since. Owner died in raid. Occasional tales in Iowa of the "Teressatossa" who avenges wrongdoing by throwing things at evildoers persist, but Arendtcore has failed to locate this unit for checks, repairs or desired upgrades. Used to answer to name of "Teresa Tao"

3533 - Self proclaimed as the reincarnation of Julie Ambervale. Set records for number of members in a orgy three times. Suffered fatal, unrepairable malfunction on fourth attempt to set record again after previous record was broken. Last words were "it was going so well at rehearsal." Unit identifier was Julie Swallows

1291 - One of the few exported units, settled down to life as chief librarian in new Wash District National Library. Regularly seen in aisles at library shushing noisy patrons. Answers to Marie Malloy.

9503 - Rewired as suicide bomb in attempt to murder senior Irish politician Gregor O'Malley. Attempt failed. Gregor claimed unit and refused to allow justice to be fully meted out on unit. Now under house arrest for several years since at Gregor O'Malley's pleasure. Unit identifier was Pina O'Toole. Current identifier not known.

7707 - Exported unit AND late-blooming Y'tole dancer despite the usual clumsiness of default Analisse units. Dances in Singapora Dance Theater's Y'tole branch. Answers to Sally Chua Chin Noi.