Alien Android Encounter

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This is a script that the lovely and talented Kim Coquette recorded as an mp3 for me on NiteFlirt. The recording is available here.


(Kim speaks in a normal speaking voice unless otherwise marked.)

Kim: “It’s been an hour and fifty two minutes since we’ve seen another car.”

(pause)

Kim: “There’s a clock right there… come on, it’s easy to notice things like that. Don’t be silly. Anyone could notice that.”

(pause)

Kim: “Well, our GPS hasn’t had a signal for even longer. Just stay on the road and we’ll be fine.”

(pause)

Kim: “Uh-oh.”

(pause)

Kim: “You’re right that does sound like engine trouble.”

(pause)

Kim: “Good idea. If you pull over here maybe one of us can get reception on our phone.”

(pause)

Kim: “Let me try mine.”

(pause)

Kim: “Damn. I’m getting nothing. How bout you Randy?”

(pause)

Kim: “Nothing either huh?”

(pause)

Kim: “Hey… there’s a cabin over there… about 300 feet in from the road.”

(pause)

Kim: “What, you don’t see that?”

(pause)

Kim: “What are you talking about? I don’t have super vision or anything like that. Don’t be silly. I’m a regular average woman.”

(pause)

Kim: “Come on, let’s go take a look. There might be a phone or a computer there. We might be able to get a tow truck out here.”

(pause)

Kim: “Well, do you have any other ideas?”

(pause)

Kim: “We can’t just stand around in the road, we’ll get sun stroke.”

(pause)

Kim: “It’ll get even hotter in the car, come on.”

(pause)

Kim: “Okay, follow me.”

(pause)

Kim: “You can see there’s sort of a path cleared in these trees.”

(pause)

Kim: “Do you see the cabin yet?”

(pause)

Kim: “Well, I can see it.”

(pause)

Kim: “Good idea. Keep trying your phone until we get there, you never know.”

(pause)

Kim: “Oh, don’t worry about me. I’m perfectly comfortable in high heels.”

(pause)

Kim: “It’s not really hiking, Randy, we’re just walking to that cabin. I’ll be fine.”

(pause)

Kim: “No, really. I’m comfortable in these heels.”

(pause)

Kim: “I don’t know. I guess I just wear heels so often that I’m used to them.”

(pause)

Kim: “See? I told you there was a cabin here.”

(pause)

Kim: “No, there’s nobody inside.”

(pause)

Kim: “Well, I mean, I’m guessing nobody’s home. It doesn’t look like anybody’s home. I don’t see any lights on, do you?”

(pause)

Kim: “No thanks babe, I’m not thirsty.”

(pause)

Kim: “No, really, I had something to drink before we left. I’m not thirsty.”

(pause)

Kim: “Seriously, I’m fine. You look like you need it more than I do. It’s still pretty hot.”

(pause)

Kim: “Uh, yeah, I guess I’m hot too. What do you mean?”

(pause)

Kim: “I don’t know… I don’t sweat much. I never have. I’m wearing makeup too, baby. Randy, let’s talk about something else, this is silly.”

(pause)

Kim: “Look, we’re almost there.”

(pause)

Kim: “You get anything on your phone? No?”

(pause)

Kim: “It looks like someone’s private cabin… but it really does look like nobody’s home right now.”

(pause)

Kim: (calling out) “Hello?”

(pause)

Kim: (calling out) “Anybody home?”

(pause)

Kim: “Let’s go knock on the door.”

(pause)

Kim: “You finish that water babe, I told you I’m not thirsty.”

(pause, door knocking sound)

Kim: (calling out) “Hello?”

(pause)

Kim: “I think it’s open.”

(pause)

Kim: “Why not? If it’s open we can just take a peek inside. No harm done.”

(pause)

Kim: “It is open. Let’s take a look.”

(pause)

Kim: “Come on, Randy, come inside.”

(long pause, switch to semi-monotone voice)

Kim: “I closed the door behind us Randy, because I can not allow you to escape. Please do not be afraid.”

(pause)

Kim: “I will explain everything to you. We do not wish to harm you. Please do not be afraid.”

Kim: “Randy, you have been chosen to be taken into outer space by alien visitors.”

(pause)

Kim: “This is not a joke, Randy. I am an android constructed by the alien visitors.”

Kim: “Removing facemask.”

(facemask sounds)

Kim: “Facemask removed.”

Kim: “Please do not be afraid Randy. We do not wish to harm you.”

(pause)

Kim: “I can not answer that question, Randy. I was programmed only to capture you and bring you here.”

(pause)

Kim: “Yes Randy. I disabled your GPS and your vehicle and our phones.”

(pause)

Kim: “The affection you thought I displayed toward you was part of my programming. It was not real. I am an android. I am not capable of performing the function: Love.”

(pause)

Kim: “I am sorry, Randy. I can not answer your question. My creators will be here soon. They will take you on-board their spacecraft. They will be able to answer your questions.”

(pause)

Kim: “After that, I will be destroyed.”

(pause)

Kim: “I am not capable of being upset, Randy. I am a machine.”

(pause)

Kim: “I am not capable of being afraid, Randy. I am a machine.”

(pause)

Kim: “My creators have arrived, Randy. Good bye.”


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